


(fear gripped me) but here i go

by dinosaur



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Inception Fusion, Asexual Character, M/M, Multi, Needles, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Other, Phobias, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 11:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5784193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaur/pseuds/dinosaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall shakes his head seriously, reaches up with his non-IV arm to boop Zayn’s nipples, “Nope. I don’t like you at all.”</p>
<p>“Oh, well, in that case,” Zayn tuts and pulls his hands out of Niall’s hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(fear gripped me) but here i go

**Author's Note:**

> response to an anon prompt on tumblr [here](http://cactiall.tumblr.com), in the [acelets series](http://cactiall.tumblr.com/tagged/acelets). this is only remotely about aceness at all tho lol. i miss inception and i love ot5, is the real message here, thanks.
> 
> love and gratitude to my dearest beta, gillian. you always come through.  
> title from breezeblocks by alt-j.

 

Niall comes up from the dream the same way he went down, laid out on the couch of the warehouse, head in someone’s lap as their hands gently card through his hair. His shoelaces are tied together, courtesy of Louis, no doubt, and there’s a bit of an echo around the sounds of Harry and Liam talking about goat’s milk. It’s probably not related to the job. Niall smiles. 

“Hey,” Zayn says, from over him, under him.

Niall blinks up at his face. “You’re not Louis.”

“Nope.”

“Huh.”

“That okay?” 

Niall shakes his head seriously, reaches up with his non-IV arm to boop Zayn’s nipples, “Nope. I don’t like you at all.”

“Oh, well, in that case,” Zayn tuts and pulls his hands out of Niall’s hair. 

“Noooo,” Niall whinges, loud enough there’s a pause in the HarryandLiam buzz for a moment as they look over, before continuing their argument. Who knows the texture of goat nipples, anyway.

Zayn giggles, curling over Niall. He’s got, like, 20-thousand eyelashes, Niall is sure of it. 

“You are very pretty,” Niall says, only half to butter him up for a continuing head massage. 

“True,” Zayn says, easing his fingernails back against Niall’s scalp. 

The soft scritches travel down Niall’s spine and curl someplace low and warm.

“Mmm,” he mumbles, face turning into Zayn’s tummy, the softness of his cashmere jumper. He wonders how they look together, the chipped green of Zayn’s nails against the fading lavender-blonde of his hair. 

Liam shouts something about peptide bonds being like the hook in a prechorus and Harry hums something loudly in response. The lazy fan in the far corner coughs a bit. It’s a pretty typical Tuesday, though it could be a bit cooler. All this heat is making Niall feel like scheduling in naps instead of layout run-throughs. 

He struggles to keep his eyes from dipping and focuses on the IV still in his arm. He fumbles it, trying not to dislodge Zayn’s fingers or the finicky PASIV cords from the machine. 

“Swear to Christ.”

Zayn tugs at his bangs gently. 

“One day,” Niall grumbles, as he finally gets the needle out and plopped into the disposable bag still on his stomach, “I’m gonna jury-rig this so it doesn’t come off with the slightest fucking tug.”

“You’ll fix it, babe,” Zayn says, easily.

A flush skates across his cheeks. He closes his eyes against it, lets his hands flutter a little and grasp at each other across his waist. “Thanks.”

“Mm,” Zayn hums, rubbing a bit of Niall’s hair in between his fingers. Niall wonders if he’s also looking at the way their colors look next to each other. “How’d the run go?”

“Okay,” Niall says, quietly, “Louis’ not gonna like -” he sighs.

“Louis’ not gonna like what I did with the bridge.” Zayn sounds cold.

“Just feels like glass, is all.” 

Zayn’s fingers pause, before digging into the base of Niall’s skull.

Niall struggles not to moan. 

“Zhe doesn’t like _glass_?” 

Oh. 

Sometimes Niall forgets that he’s the only one who knows all them well, the only one who hopscotches in between jobs and teams easy as a pebble on a pond. That and he checks out people’s background more than a cursory, _hey is this person gonna knife me in the back while I’m helpless and under?_

“Accident. Moscow. Kari’s Team was working in an abandoned glass factory and -” He trails off. It’s not really his story to go into. He peeks open his eyes. Zayn looks considering. 

“How bad is it?” 

Niall shrugs his shoulder into Zayn’s legs. “If Louis is the dreamer, it might do weird things to zher projections. Refract their appearances sorta, can do interesting things to their social schema cause of inconsistent self-concept -”

“Yikes,” Zayn says mildly, nearly lost under a sudden “AHA” from Harry across the floor.

Liam starts cackling. 

Niall laughs a bit into Zayn’s stomach, but doesn’t bother to open his eyes.

Zayn taps his fingers at Niall’s head for a moment and Niall bobbles his head back and forth with it for a second. An itch starts to develop at the crown of his head. He nudges his head back, pointedly. Laughing dryly, Zayn scritches over his skull for a second, focusing on the spot when Niall “MMM”s in appreciation.

Niall lets himself sink into it for a moment. It’s so hard sometimes, to find good people to cuddle with who don’t expect anything more of Niall. It’s a little hard to find people who don’t view dreamwork as something cold and sterlized and criminal. Finding all of them, managing to get their schedules to align has been years in the making. He’s gonna take all he can get, when he can get it. 

_Live in the present reality_ , he thinks to himself. 

The harsh metal of bracelet on his wrist weighs heavy against his pulse. 

He makes a quiet sound, a longing exhale as Zayn’s hands trace the softness of his temples, dip back behind his ears. Zayn’s fingers stutter in response. Sighing quietly, Niall thinks he might be the only one living quite so fully though. 

Every time two of them gets close like this, someone backs off. Usually, it’s Zayn.

_You don’t have to go_ , Niall wants to say. _You can try this. You can all try us._

“Will it affect the job?” Zayn asks, a little breathlessly, something like fear in how he shifts his hands back to the safe, mussed ends of Niall’s hair.

Niall has to think for a moment before he remembers. Right, Louis, glass. “Could.” 

It hasn’t so far, but chances aren’t stable foundations in their line of work.

“You think I should take it out? Or change the base material?” Zayn makes a small sound, leg twitching under Niall’s neck. “It’s incorporated into the mirror concept Harry’s Wilson forge is playing with.”

“You asking me as a point or -” _As Louis’ friend_. Niall’s curious. Louis and Zayn;s relationship has been a little tenuous, strung together with tape and professionalism and shared, terrible energy drinks, sometimes with Niall himself.

Zayn’s quiet for a long moment, fingers curling in Niall’s hair like it’s a comfort-bear.

The door to the warehouse slams open suddenly. Niall jumps as Zayn does. 

“Right you lot,” Louis shouts, “What have you done while your illustrious leader was occupied with a boring as shit client call?”

Harry and Liam’s voices overlap. They’re still talking about goat’s milk. 

_Amazing_ , Niall thinks.

Niall settles his head back down on Zayn’s lap and blinks his eyes open at him. 

Zayn looks back, teeth pressing into his bottom lip. 

They watch each other for a moment.

“Both,” Zayn whispers, finally.

Louis makes a strangled exclamation over something. Maybe a live goat.

“Pull the bridge,” Niall says, twisting into Zayn’s tummy to bury it against him. “But if Louis asks, don’t hide it.”

“No?” Zayn vibrates against Niall’s cheek. He sounds surprised.

“Yeah,” Niall says, as he pulls away to roll to his feet, hand grabbing the needle packet. Louis is shoving mugs of tea at both Harry and Niall with a sharp, “Have you not had anything to drink this whole day testing compounds? I swear to fucki-” 

Niall lets his fingers trail down Zayn’s arm as he goes, leaves him with a low, “Fear isn’t a weakness,” to chew over. 

He’ll get it, probably. 

Architects always think in layers. And Zayn’s the best in the biz.

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably gonna be a series. (sorry)


End file.
